Episode 4

Episode 4 includes shady doctors, shady scientists, and shady cops. To shed some light on all three, please continue reading.

The Lupin short opens with the gang making their escape through a window. They all leap out one by one. Jigen is last, and before he jumps he very gleefully sets fire to the curtains. Zenigata stops short of the flames, trying to figure out how to cross the fire safely. He decides to douse himself with water and jump through. Which he does, but for some reason still gets set on fire, so he crashes into a wall outside the window and the gang laughs at him.

Wandering Samurai

The Samurai comes across a river. A man by the river offers to take him across the river. The samurai climbs to the top of a long pole, which the man carries across the river by walking on the river bed. The river is deep, but the pole luckily keeps the Samurai from getting wet. The End.

Mankatsu Monkey

The Monkey is dressed like Clint Eastwood from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (I think, I am no expert on Westerns). He is challenging Lupin to a duel. We see the Monkey draw his gun, and then Lupin calmly turns his back on him and walks away. Then we're taken back in time a few seconds, and we see that quicker than the human eye, Lupin has flicked beans (?) or something into the Monkey's eyes and mouth, defeating him before he could ever fire a shot.

Mini Stage

We have a new story now, which will last through episode 6. It's more self-contained than Bakumatsu Yankee and has become a personal favorite.

The story opens with a small introduction that plays each episode: It opens on a kabuki stage, and the main character of the story comes out in kabuki makeup to talk about himself. The story itself never has anything to do with kabuki, it's just that the main character's name is kabuki wordplay and I think they decided to run with it.

The main character comes out and tells us three things about himself:

1) Crime is a way of life

2) Crime what he lives for
3) Crime is his art—the aesthetic of evil

His name is Monji Shiranami, and these are his stories.

(The kabuki wordplay is “shiranamimono” is the word used to mean a kabuki play about robbers and thieves, and his name in the last name-first order is Shiranami Mon(ji)).

With that out of the way, let's go on to the story:

We open in a large hospital. We see an older man. Shiranami narratores that he is the hospital director. He is making his rounds visiting the patients, followed by observing doctors.

We cut to a new scene, and a man is knocking on a door. He asks if the Director is in to look at some medical files. It's Shiranami, who looks like a deranged, cat-faced Lupin.

I love his design so much.

The Director is not in, so Shiranami decides to sit in his chair and be envious. While he is sitting, a nurse comes in also looking for the Director. A present has been delivered for him from the wife of the hospital's superintendent, Mrs. Toyama. Shiranami puts his hand out, pretending to be the Director, because he doesn't want to be caught in his chair. The nurse leaves, and Shiranami decides to open the box and see what the Director has been sent.

The box is full of money. Shiranami does what any sensible person would do and pockets it all for himself.

The Director comes in while Shiranami is congratulating himself. He tells Shiranami not to come into other people's offices if they aren't there. He sees the empty box and asks Shiranami what was in it, but Shiranami tells him it was nothing and runs off.

Catching his breath outside the office, a nurse comes up for the Director. It seems that Mrs. Toyama is waiting to be examined. Shiranami tells her not to bother the Director, and that he will see the her.

When he gets there, he finds a beautiful woman that he immediately starts ogling. She asks for his help, and he tries to cover up his staring by lying and telling her that everything will be fine, because the Director told him everything about her case. Mrs. Toyama asks if that means that the Director accepted her present. Shiranami lies again and says the Director was very happy to accept her gift. Mrs. Toyama asks if that means the Director is accepting her request. Shiranami tells her that of course he is. She stands up, takes off all her clothes, and then puts on a towel.
Shiranami has no idea what the request is, but is very excited about what it could possibly be.

She then asks Shiranami to fulfill her request and to give her an abortion.

Shiranami is veeeeeeery sliiiiiiightly disappointed.

Mrs. Toyama waits on the examination table, while in the next room Shiranami looks through a collection of junk that doesn't look medical in the least and we get the feeling that he might not know what he's doing.

Losing his cool, he wonders what the heck he's going to do when the Director walks in. He pushes the Director out of the examination room, telling him there's a very contagious patient in there and he doesn't want the Director to get sick. The Director starts to leave, but then mentions that if Shiranami sees Mrs. Toyama, to pass on a message to her about her medical file: she's not pregnant.

Armed with this information, Shiranami makes his way back to Mrs. Toyama. She chides him for taking his time and he tells her that he has an update on her medical condition: she's five months pregnant.

(If you looks at her character design, it's pretty easy to see how much of a bald-faced lie that is, but Mrs. Toyama seems to have as little knowledge about pregnancy as our con-man Shiranami, so she swallows the bait).

His face says, "This is a horrible lie but let's try it".

He goes on to tell her that she's too far along for an abortion. She begs him that she'll do anything to have an abortion. He tells her there may be a way, but there are three conditions OR he follows medical regulations to call her husband. She can't agree to that. Her husband is too old to father children, which is why she wanted the abortion in the first place. She agrees to go along with any of the conditions that Shiranami places upon her. The first one being (since this is a Monkey Punch story) that she sleep with him. Which they do, right on the examination table.

When they are done and she is getting dressed again, he tells her that his second condition is he wants to be her husband's personal physician.

The next day, Shiranami comes into work, pleased with himself. He walks down the hall smirking, when the Director calls him into his office. He tells Shiranami that the he (the Director) has been taken of Mr. Toyama's case and Shiranami has been asked to take over in his place. Shiranami innocently wonders why he's been asked to take the case while inwardly he's celebrating his victory. The Director says he wants to talk with him more in depth about this change in personnel, so come into his office.

He asks Shiranami if he graduated Seihoku medical school. Shiranami says yes. The Director says that he decided to ask the school if he really had, and he got his answer today. The Director hands him a letter. Well? Will Shiranami read it? Shiranami won't. Shiranami knows he's in trouble. The Director takes the letter back and reads it himself. The letter says that no one with the name Monji Shiranami ever graduated from their university. The Director asks if Shiranami can explain himself. Shiranami says that if that's what the letter says, then he really doesn't have anything to add, and it's a bit embarrassing.

Just then, a nurse (Mika) runs in, crying. She rushes into the Director's lap. She tells him that she's pregnant with his child. The Director asks if she's sure, because he's had a vasectomy. She is. He tells her he'll get her an abortion, but she says that she wants to have his child. Shiranami sees his chance to turn his fortunes around. Shiranami rips up the letter that said he didn't graduate, and tells the Director he'll convince Mika to get the abortion, he's very good at convincing people. The Director, backed into a corner, allows him to continue on at the hospital.

At the hospital superintendent's house, Shiranami is giving him an injection. Mr. Toyama tells Shiranami that he hasn't been feeling well ever since Shiranami started treating him, and is he giving him the right treatment? Shiranami tells him to trust him.

On his way back from treating Mr. Toyama, a scruffy-looking Zenigata suddenly appears in the road. Shiranami is not happy to see him. His name is Kuroda. Kuroda asks Shiranami how he's doing. Shiranami tells him his life is as usual, that's he's poor and just just barely getting by. Kuroda yanks him by the collar and tells him that he knows he's lying, he knows he's working as a doctor and that Shiranami is an incorrigible criminal. Shiranami is forced to give him a lift, where Kuroda explains that he knows Shiranami is fleecing somebody right now, so Kuroda won't arrest him as long as Shiranami gives him a cut of the money. Shiranami mumbles he hates dirty cops.

Shiranami returns in the evening to Mr. Toyama's house to give him his night shot. Mr. Toyama says he'd like to have the Director back as his doctor, because Shiranami just makes him feel worse. Shiranami tells him that even if he gets replaced, Mr. Toyama won't feel any better. The elections for superintendent are coming up again, and they are bad for his health. Toyama agrees. Shiranami tells him no matter what treatment or medicine he tries, it's not going to help.  While they're talking, Toyama is looking out the window and Shiranami is unsuccessfully trying to cop a feel from the wife.

BUT!

Shiranami is a medical professional, and he's thought of a way to make him feel better: MONEY!!!

Shiranami gives all the blackmail info he has on the Director to Mr. Toyama (affairs, kickbacks, etc.), who partners with Shiranami to blackmail the Director into handing over 20 million yen. Toyama tells the Director to have a nurse drop off the money ASAP. The Director can do nothing but agree.

Kuroda is staking out the bank where Nurse Mika is withdrawing the money. He doesn't want his cut from Shiranami to get away. As Mika walks down the street, Shiranami calls out to her from a parked car. He guides her into his car. Slightly confused, she cooperates. Kuroda doesn't like what he's seeing, and runs after them. Shiranami sees Kuroda in his review mirror as he's leaving and smiles, pleased with not sharing his blackmail money with a guy who DIDN'T WORK AT ALL FOR IT.

We switch back to the Toyamas, who are wondering where their blackmail money is.

IT'S WITH SHIRANAMI, SUCKERS!

Shiranami and Mika laugh to themselves, because they were working together the whole time!

Kuroda catches up to them on a motorcycle, demanding a cut of the money. Shiranami throws a little cash out the window, Kuroda falls off the motorcycle trying to catch it, and Shiranami and Mika ride off into the distance.

(end)

Before going on, I just want to say why I love Shiranami so much, because maybe you're wondering why when it seems like such a simple story: He's a cheeky, brash, evil, cat-faced Lupin and he entertains me to no end. It's just a pure con-job, and I love those stories. My favorite Lupin stories are the ones where it just focuses on how Lupin Gets the Thing, whatever that may be. I like seeing him figure out how to trick people to get his way. The Shiranami stories are entirely about How He Gets the Thing, along with fun spots of tension that comes from Shiranami bluffing his way through situations.

I also like the addition of the dirty cop Kuroda. It's a different dynamic than Monkey Punch usually gives. And there's also some wordplay with Shiranami and Kuroda's names, containing the words "white" and "black" respectively, as if one is good an dthe other bad.
But in reality they're both as bad as the other: Kuroda seems like a good guy because he's a cop but he's not, and Shiranami pretends to be a good guy to con people, but he's not.

Anyway, there will be two more episodes of Shiranami and I find them all fun, but right now it's time once again for

MANKATSU MONKEY

Clint Eastwood money is facing off against Jigen. The Monkey pulls out his gun, but all it does is click. Jigen pulls out his gun, shoots off the Monkey's hat. Rewinding time again, we see that at the start of the duel Jigen spit out his cigarette into the Monkey's gun, blocking the hammer from making contact with the bullets.

A superhero who looks a lot like Batman but isn't is patrolling the streets. He hears a call for help. He rushes over to the area, and throws up a grappling hook. It catches, and he spends some comical moments yanking on the rope to make sure it's well secure. He climbs up the rope, only to find when he gets near the top that his hook caught in the head of the woman who was calling for help out the window, and now she is dead. In the distance, police sirens wail.

Up Up Balloon

A woman asks the Balloon Man to act as a taxi for her. Since she is pretty, he agrees. They sleep together in the balloon. She ends up pregnant, and now five smaller balloons tow their children along with them. He sighs.

Riddle

A woman is attacked by two rapists at a camp ground. A woman tells them to stop. They ask why. She says, “This is a school, isn't it? What kind of school do you think this is?” (Um, I'm not sure if the location has anything to do with rape being bad or not, lady).

The narrator asks us what do we think the boys answered? The answer is “Gang Rape School” because it's a homophone with “Outdoor School”.

These riddles get worse and worse (they're also anime-original segments).

The Panic

A man and woman are making their way across the desert. They are dying of thirst. They see a medical plane flying above them. They yell at the plane to give them water. The water is dropped down, but it hits them and they die.

He said/She said

The woman is giving them man directions, “more to the right, more to the left, not there—yes there!” but it's because he's blindfolded and trying to hit a watermelon (it's a thing in Japan. Like a pinata).

Mankatsu Monkey

The Monkey has decided that maybe he'd do better against Goemon. Goemon leaves, we rewind time, and we see that Goemon cut all his clotheseseses off. The end.

The Monkey then tries his luck against Fujiko. He pulls out his gun. Fujiko blocks it with a finger, like how you would to someone you want to stop speaking. She pretends like she's going to kiss him, doesn't, takes the gun and touches his lips with her finger. The Monkey blushes and lets her go, until he realizes with horror he's been tricked.

Wandering Samurai

Samurai is walking along playing with a yo-yo. We are given several close-ups of how the yo-yo spins down, and then spins back up. Suddenly, from a above, a woman with a rope wrapped around her waist spins down just like a yo-yo next to the Samurai, and then spins back up to the tall tree branch that the other end of the rope is tied to. He realizes that she has stolen his wallet. The women laughs to herself.

Mankatsu Monkey

The Monkey goes up against Zenigata last. He draws his gun, but Zenigata sedately walks over to him, handcuffs his hands, confiscates his gun, and drags him off to be arrested. Monkey is upset.

Grand Stage

This Grand Stage is interesting because it's been adapted once before in 1991, in a 45 minute OVA. The Mankatsu version came out in 2004, and is 15 minutes shorter. When I first watched the Mankatsu version, I thought I was going to get a slightly more streamlined story of the OVA. But it has significant differences which I find very interesting. So I am going to be making a separate post comparing the two versions of “Alice the Wild”.

MANKATSU MONKEY STRIKES AGAIN

The Monkey takes aims against all 5 of the gang. He shoots them and they fall over, revealing they are just cardboard cut-outs. He stamps on them in anger.

Wandering Samurai

The Samurai wanders along, blowing a pinwheel he is carrying. He comes across a tree with a low hanging branch growing straight out of the trunk. Something is very quickly rotating around the tree limb, kind of resembling an electric fan. Curious, the Samurai inspects it closer. He sticks a stick into the whirling mass, but it disintegrates upon contact with the whirling thing. He tries bigger and bigger sticks, but whatever is spinning keeps crushing them up. He finally uses a giant log, and the man who was spinning (by his feet) comes to a stop, his head coming into contact with the log and now looking a bit crushed. The Samurai panics and runs away.

Lupin Gang

The gang is once again escaping through a window, and Jigen once again sets the curtains on fire as he goes through. But this time, Zenigata knows what to do: He dresses in a lion suit so he can leap through the flames. The suit prevents him from catching on fire (somehow), but he still crashes into a wall. The end.

This review went by so fast. Amazing how quick I can write about episodes I like... Join us next time for more Shiranami goodness, a trendy Mankatsu Monkey, and vampires.